Escape to University this one hour

Gosh I am so bored. This ennui is killing. I can't work. I don't want to do work.


I need to fly away to another place, another time, and just lie to watch clouds move. Now here. Slowly, there. On a sprawling blue canvas, spot the occasional passing plane. Wonder who's on board. Wonder if they can see me: I-cannot-count-how-many Kilometers below. Wonder what I saw the last time I flew back home. Look at the tufts of grass growing around me. Wonder if I should pull them out. Remember mum telling me that plants can feel. Guiltily, draw my hand away. Examine my nails. Look at them as if nothing interests me better. Listen to the sudden odd call of a bird. Wonder what its doing on an afternoon so hot. Wish I were a bird, or a dog, or maybe even a snake. Wonder about the few people I know. Wonder what they're doing now. Wonder if they ever think about me. Hastily abandon that line of thought. Inhale an odorless smell. Wonder why the cities are so god damn... so...god damn, just... so damned! Look at the large boulder, grown from the earth, standing square next to me. Watch it squint at the sun. Look under its crevices. Check for snakes. Send a silent prayer to God. Thank him for all those times he didn't let a snake bite me. Look up at the sky again. Search for a big ball of orange. Remember the time mum took Ashwin and I swimming on her Hero Puch. Remember how we clung to her. Like monkeys- Ashwin to her and I to him. Remember watching the sun that day. Watch it glide to the end of the world. Watch it end its day within minutes. Remember the orangeness of it all. Feel my eyes grow misty. Embarassed that I cry so easily. Feel it slowly grow chill. Welcome the lazy cold breeze. Say, "there's a nip in the wind". Sit up to enjoy it. Wonder why it had to come at all. Turn petulant. Sigh aloud. Look at the building, English Department, a few meters away. Listen to laughter I don't know. Wonder whats tickling those guys. Think of the good time they're having. Wonder about the girl whose laughter is the loudest. Imagine throw her head back and laugh. Laugh until it hurts all her sides. Laugh until it grows so painful, and water run down her eyes. Purse my lips. Gather my stuff. Walk back to hostel.